This Is How Greatness Happens

Thursday
November 4, 2010
12:09 p.m.

Luke-at-work and I are at the store, receiving thirty-eight boxes of merchandise from the day's FedEx drop. We pass the moments, talking...


Me: So, last night I saw the coolest little horror movie I've seen in years.

Luke: What was that?

Me: The Mist.

Luke: Ahhh, that was awesome. Can you imagine setting all those people on a ship on fire?

(pause) People... on a ship...?

Am I thinking of the wrong movie?

Maybe The Fog?

Yeah, that's probably it.

Naaaaah, I'm talkin' 'bout The Mist.

You mean that one with the crazy Curse Lady telling everyone that the monsters are all, like, God's will and everybody splitting up into two factions before going totally sacrifice crazy?

Yeah, have you seen it?

No. I just know everything that happens in detail through osmosis and psychic powers.

Did you like it?

Yeah. (pause) Man, it would suck to be cursed.

I used to think I was cursed. I had this seven year stretch of shitty luck. Then I realized that's just the ebb and flow of my particular life. Seven years good, seven years bad...

Where are you in that cycle, now?

(thinking) Second year into cycle of good.

Hooray!

But yeah. Curses suck, probably.

Imagine being an eight year old... and cursing someone... for... stealing a cookie.

My cookie that I baked? Or my cookie that I plan to eat? Or give to someone?

Either. You're a little girl who curses someone.

Am I a witch?

Sure, maybe.

Am I a "good little witch?" Or an "I'm gonna eat your soul witch?"

Dude. You're eight!

It could happen. If her parents were also, like, soul eaters and stuff... and cared how they raised their child.

You're at a picnic and your little brother steals your cookie. So you curse him.

Right. I'm an evil little witch at a picnic at night in the rain. We're eating mice sandwiches... Is this a children's story? I think it has potential. We call it "My First Curse."

(laughs)

Maybe the witch is in her forties and has kids... and one of the kids misbehaves and starts cursing her little brother and the Witch Mom's like "Wait now, honey. Let mommy tell you about her first curse." The brother, like, steals her sandwich.

I thought it was a cookie.

Maybe. Maybe it's a cookie sandwich. Or, maybe it's an ice cream sandwich with cookies on the outside. And the ice cream is cookie ice cream! And the witch's name is Cookie! And she's wearing a Cookie Monster costume!!

That is so deep on so many levels.

Hey. I'm creative.

Coming soon to a theater or children's book shop near you.