I was once something of a film critic on local cable access television and in newsprint, and I occassionally do the same on-line in various spots. The way I see it, there are two kinds of people that take the time to read such items. The first type wants the inside dope on the "how and why" a film succeeds or fails and is keen to discuss a given film in the larger context of an actor's or filmmaker's general oevure and how the motion picture relates to society as a whole. The Second Type just wants to know if the movie is any freakin' good... and quickly.
There will be entries on this blog that delve deeply into why a film might or might not work, using an almost mechanical-engineering method of cause-and-effect relations and how they combine to make or break the perfect motion picture. But for today, you get... "The List."
The following is a fast, efficient "star based review" catalogue that will let you know if you should spend your dollars and time with the films therein. If anyone wants or needs elaboration on a given film on the list, feel free to ask. But in the meantime, grab a nice frosty-mug drink, maybe a sandwich (or possibly a three-course meal, as the case may be) and please enjoy glossing over...
The EVERY DAMN MOVIE I'VE SEEN IN THE LAST NINE OR TEN MONTHS REVIEW-LIST.
**** = "excellent"
*** = "very good, indeed"
** = "fair"
* = "bad"
None = "a complete waste of time"
Theatrical Release
Miami Vice (2006) ***Clerks II ***
A Scanner Darkly ***
Mission: Impossible III ***1/2
X-Men: The Last Stand ***
Superman Returns ***
Memoirs Of A Geisha ***1/2
V For Vendetta ***1/2
The Three Burials of Melquiades Rivera ***
Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire ***
Syriana ***
Aeon Flux **
The Pink Panther (2005) *1/2
Doom **1/2
Friday The 13th in 3D (1983) * (as a film)
Friday The 13th in 3D (1983) *** (a Midnight Screening Experience)
Good Night and Good Luck ***1/2
The Baxter ***
Flightplan **1/2
Lord Of War ***
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit ***1/2
A History Of Violence ***
DVD/VHS Home VideoMTV's The Maxx (1995) ****
Repo Man (1984) ****
Pretty As A Picture: The Art Of David Lynch ***1/2
The Stairway To The Distant Past (Japan) ***1/2
The World's Fastest Indian ***1/2
Scrap Heaven (Jaoan) ***1/2
The In-Laws (1979) ***1/2
Easy Rider (1969) ***1/2
Rent (2005) ***1/2
Takashi Miike's "Imprint" (Japan/USA) ***
Shinobi: Heart Under Blade (Japan) ***
The President's Last Bang (Korea) ***
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang ***
Fearless (Hong Kong) ***
Princess Aurora (Korea) ***
Dragon Fight (HK) ***
Takeshis' (Japan) ***
The Trap (Japan) ***
The Cruise (1998) ***
16 Blocks ***
Munich (2005) ***
Alien 3 (2003, Special Edition Cut) ***
Alien 3 (1992, Theatrical Cut) **1/2
Yaji and Kita: The Midnight Pilgrims (Japan) **1/2
Sengoku Jieitai (Time Slip) 1549 (Japan) **1/2
Bewitching Attraction (Korea) **1/2
Born To Fight (Thai, 1978) **1/2
District #13 (France) **1/2
Toni Takitani (Japan) **1/2
Fist Of Legend (Jet Li; HK) **1/2
Match Point **1/2
The Long Kiss Goodnight **
Chelsea Walls (2001) **
Who Are You? (Korea) **
The Bodyguard (Thai) **
Ultraviolet *1/2
BloodRayne *
Date Movie 1/2 star
Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles (China) ****
Dinner For Five: Season One ***1/2
The Promise (China) ***1/2
Being There (1979) ***1/2
Capote (2005) ***1/2
Mission: Impossible (1996) ***1/2
Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) ***
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (Japan) ***
Akira Kurosawa: Beautiful Movies (Japan) ***
Mr. Arkadin: The Criterion Collection ***
The Great Yokai War (Japan) ***
The Night Watch (Russia) ***
Chushingura 1/47 (Japan) ***
The Passenger (1975) ***
SPL: Sha Po Lang (HK) ***
Public Enemy (Korea) ***
Tom Yum Goong (Thai) ***
Green Chair (Korea) ***
Dragon Squad (HK) ***
Perhaps Love (HK) ***
Thunderbolt (HK) ***
Three Times (HK) ***
Failan (Korea) ***
Crash (2005) ***
Keane (2005) ***
King Kong (2005) ***
A Man Watching Video: AKA Rewind (Korea) **1/2
The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers **1/2
The Guard From Underground (Japan) **1/2
My Left Eye Sees Ghosts (HK) **1/2
Another Public Enemy (Korea) **1/2
Everlasting Regret (HK) **1/2
Sharky's Machine (1981) **1/2
Marebito (Japan) **1/2
The Duelist (Korea) **1/2
Action Jackson (1987) **1/2
Shutter (Korea) **1/2
They Came Back (France) **
Red Eye (Korea) **
Calamari Wrestler (Japan) **
A Chinese Tall Story (HK) **
Blood Rain (Korea) **
The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980) *1/2
Land Of The Dead *1/2
Rated X (Documentary) *1/2
Undead (Australia) *
Sympathy For Lady Vengeance (Korea) ****
Ran: Criterion Collection ****
Sin City (Expanded Cut) ****
The Blues Brothers: 25th Anniversary Edition ****
Homestar Runner: Everything Else, Vol. 1 ***1/2
The 40-Year-Old Virgin (Unrated) ***1/2
Dr. Strangelove (1964) ***1/2
Election (HK) ***1/2
Serentiy ***1/2
Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Season Four ***
I Don't Know Jack (Documentary) ***
Drink, Drank, Drunk (HK) ***
Bad Lieutenant (1992) ***
Quick Change (1990) ***
A Bronx Tale (1993) ***
The Brothers Grimm ***
24: Season Four ***
Scrooged (1988) ***
The Baxter ***
Unleashed ***
Broken Lizard's Puddle Cruiser **1/2
The Dukes Of Hazzard **1/2
The Island (2005) **1/2
Mr. & Mrs. Smith **1/2
Fantastic Four **1/2
The Myth (HK) **1/2
Cafe Lumiere (Taiwan/Japan) **
The Fog (2005) **
The Wig (Korea) **
Walker (UK) **
Revengers Tragedy (UK) *1/2
Frivolous Lola (1998, Italy) *
Dirty Love *
Havoc *
The Pink Panther (1963) ***
A Shot in the Dark (1964) ***
The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) ***1/2
The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) ***
Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978) **1/2
Trail of the Pink Panther (1982) **
Curse of the Pink Panther (1983) **1/2
Son of the Pink Panther (1993) **1/2
Spaced: The Complete Series (UK) ****
Naked: Criterion Collection (UK) ****
Stella Shorts: 1998-2002 ****
Stella: Season One (Comedy Central) ***1/2
Star Wars: Episode III Revenge Of The Sith ***1/2
Batman Begins ***1/2
Seven Swords (HK) ***1/2
Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (TV Pilot, 1979) ***
The Warriors (1979, Theatrical Cut) ***
Herbie: Fully Loaded **1/2
Vital (Japan) **1/2
House Of Wax (2005) **1/2
Dominion: Prequel To The Exorcist **1/2
Exorcist: The Beginning **
Wild Life (Japan) **1/2
She's On Duty (Korea) *1/2
Synthetic Pleasures (1996; Documentary) *
Saturday Night Live: The Best Of John Belushi ****
Saturday Night Live: The Best Of Dan Aykroyd ***1/2
The Usual Suspects (1995) ***1/2
Kagemusha: Criterion Collection ***1/2
Eros (HK/USA/Italy) ***1/2
Point Blank (1969) ***1/2
Payback (1999) ***
Infection (Japan) ***1/2
The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) ***1/2
Wise Guys (1986) ***1/2
Le Fils Du Fent/Yamakasi 2/The Great Challenge (French/Thai) ***
Ong Bak (Thai Uncut Version) ***
Layer Cake (UK) ***
Kontroll (Budapest) ***
Ultraman: The Next (2004) **1/2
D.E.B.S. **1/2
Premonition (Japan) **1/2
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (UK) **1/2
Initial D (HK) **1/2
A Dirty Shame **
Cursed (USA) **
Kung-Fu Mahjong (HK) **
The Deer Hunter (1978) ****
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy ***
The Grudge: Unrated Extended Director's Cut **1/2
The Way To Fight (Japan) **1/2
Evolution (2001) **1/2
Bad Guy (Korea) **
Carlito's Way (1993) ***1/2
Kairo (aka: Circuit, Pulse) ***
Born To Fight (Thai) ***
Joy Ride (2001) **1/2
Zhou Yu's Train (China) **1/2
The Girl Next Door (Documentary) **1/2
The Adventures Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D **
The Shining (1981) ****
Firefly: The Series ***1/2
A Bittersweet Life (Korea) ***1/2
Overnight ***1/2
Vibrator (Japan) ***
Silmido (Korea) ***
Saw ***
Tae Guk Gi: The Brotherhood Of War (Korea) **1/2
Crying Fist (Korea) **1/2
The Serpent's Path (Japan) **1/2
Eyes Of The Spider (Japan) **
The Interpreter *1/2
Hellovator: The Bottled Fools (Japan) *
The Man With The Screaming Brain *
Alien Apocalypse *
Panic Room 3-DVD Special Edition ****
Sky High: Face (Japan) ***
Three Extremes (HK) ***
Three Extremes: Dumplings (Expanded) (HK) ***
Red Trousers: The Life Of The Hong Kong Stuntman (HK) ***
R-Point (Korea) **1/2
Longinus (Japan) *1/2
...What? You made it all the way down here?! Damn! You deserve a trophy or something. :)
1 comment:
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