And now, a tale of terror from the front lines of Video Retail...
INT - THE STORE - DAY.
A group of four pre-teen girls enters the shop. With their iPods, cell phones and high-volume conversational banter, they are clearly the masters of their existences. They break off from their discussion of the relative "hotness" of actor Chris Evans long enough for one of them (the leader, it seems) to approach the in-his-thirties Associate at the sales counter. The Associate makes eye contact with this creature, the apparent Future of Our World.
Hi? Can I help you find something?
"Yah," can you recommend something for
a group of eleven year old girls?
(fumbling a little)
We have... some Barbie movies.
The Future gives the Associate the deepest look of contempt her eleven year old face can muster.
How about Dora The Explorer? Or Barnyard?
That's got cows! Do you like cows?
Where's John Tucker Must Die?
That's rated PG-13 for "sexual content and
language." You're eleven. That's two years of
life experience you can't handle yet.
What's a really funny movie, then?
Anyone who knows the Associate, geek or not, knows his answer to this one.
How about Ghostbusters? That's about the
funniest movie ever.
Pfft! More like the oldest movie ever.
All four girls start laughing like it's the last minute of the last day of school.
The Associate silently wonders if it's technically illegal to slap someone else's kids.
Recent Theatrical Reviews:
Spider-Man 3 ***1/2
Ocean's Thirteen ***1/2
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer ***
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End **1/2
The Third Man: Criterion Collection ****
The Naked City: Criterion Collection ****
Europa (aka Zentropa) ****
The Hitcher (1986) ****
Protege (Hong Kong) ***1/2
Truck Rascals: No One Can Stop Me (Japan, 1975) ***
New York Stories (1989) ***
The Money Pit (1986) ***
Dragnet (1987) ***
The 'Burbs (1989) **1/2
Confession Of Pain (HK) **1/2
Ghost Rider (2007) **1/2
Pulse (2006) **
The Woman Chaser (1999) **
The Hitcher (2007) *1/2
Transmorphers (2007) (zero stars)