A former female roommate of mine who'd known me a little while used to give me a hard time whenever I'd get all Grizzly Adams around the house and grow out a beard. Usually in winter, but often just for more supreme facial structure definition (meaning "I think it looks better, sometimes"), I'd let the chin hairs get a little long... and she'd be merciless about it."My mother always said not ever to trust a man with a beard," she'd remark.
"Feh!! Yer mom don't know nuthin'!" I'd respond mock-angrily.
My recent days have been bearded ones, me being too tired/lazy/or some such, to shave. The other night at the job, I was in the not altogether unusual situation where I was forced to have a few words with a particularly rude woman at the store who had the unfortunate but similarly not altogether unusual luck of having her three night's DVD rental choices already taken out by other customers in the previous few days. She huffed her way out of the store and that was that. Not long after, I finally got it together to shave and took the razor my facial whiska'z. The next day after that, this happens...
INT - VIDEO STORE - DAY.
A sizable male Customer enters the store. He's composed, but his Tommy Lee Jones-like eyes show that he has some purpose here this day. He approaches the clean-shaven Associate, counterside.
CUSTOMER
Hey bud, you got some guy in here with
a beard?
ASSOCIATE
Uh... Sometimes.
CUSTOMER
My wife says she came in here the other night
and said some bearded guy was bein' rude.
ASSOCIATE
Well, I was here for that actually and to tell you
the truth she was the one raising her voice and
getting testy in the store, all angry that the movies
she wanted were already checked out.
CUSTOMER
(shrugs a little)
That does sound a little more right. She's my lady
and all, but... She can be a little... Y'know.
ASSOCIATE
Heh... I hear ya.'
CUSTOMER
Alright then. No big deal. Thanks.
And sorry 'bout whatever happened.
ASSOCIATE
No problem. Glad to help. And I'll tell the bearded
guy you stopped by.
CUSTOMER
Cool, thanks again.
Maybe my former roommate's mom knew something, after all. :)
2 comments:
What a douchebag! He came in just to bitch out? The wife has him in check.
I feel you on the beard thing. I've had one for 3 years and it varies in size quite often. Sometimes it's bigger than others.
I don't think I can ever not have one. I look ten years old without it.
Where are you, buddy?
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